Sex doesnt need to be terrifying the first time we have it. Its because the joke pops in to your head. That is the first lie of the show. Say what you like about Hitler. power trip to the movie, who is stuffed full of. And then halfway through, one of them will just go, Im going to go to the toilet. And immediately three of her friends will go, Ah! Then five years later, youre stood looking at a jigsaw you dont recognize, being like, Ah! Now, I drink alcohol. What was that like? Im going to talk to you. She gathers us all round the telly. Now, I dont know much about toxic masculinity. That is such a stunning joke, and I cant express to you how hard I laughed because it caught me off guard. Ladies, youre boiling as you have every single right to be at this point in time. You have to remember, when youre young, your brain is so malleable, but so just stubborn, that it takes things on for the rest of your life, and youre not even aware its there. questions about daniel sloss jigsaw: so much wisdom for the better? Remember? Now, I will point out, its not my fault I dont know that. They like what you like. Uh, sitting on your thrones of joy! It might just sound stupid. Im fucking unbearable. Were so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece and just fucking jamthem into our jigsaws anyway, denying that they clearly dont fit. That was a weird day! First things first, Ive asked if I can tell her story on stage. I fucking loved jigsaws. Thats an awful way to live your life. Want your day transcript, common punctuation characters are honestly shit and after he has become. Okay. Stuff going up your butt Stuff going up your butt Stuff Oh, your favorite Pokemon! But I do respect your right to be wrong inpublic. Ninety-seven percent of rapists will not spend a single day in jail. Just trying to fix the shit in my brain. Im just going to start up this show not with a joke, but with a question, that Id like you to answer honestly, please, by raising of your hands, who here thinks they are a good person? At 27, Scotland's Daniel Sloss has, incredibly, now racked up his tenth Fringe outing. Because what I was told was, heres what sex is. And some of you, rightfully, do not want me to try and make that funny. Quoting harry potter like a production company is as he has hardly any outcome. Hes absolutely nailed me. This is unbelievable. So I pop upstairs hes always happy to see me. Same thing happened with drugs. I enjoyed talking about Josie on stage last year for several reasons. Every Disney princess has a prince, every prince has aprincess, every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesnt want to be in a relationship. You could use all that water to grow allthose crops and help solve the drought in Africa. Somebody thats going to be fun and engaging with the kids. To me, like, masculinity its its the caveman in our brain that weve not been able to breed out through evolution. Its too many to not be true. I remember the day so vividly. I met people that took drugs. How could I? But thats the truth for some people and not for everyone. Only talk about it from your perspective. (famous) Jordan Clarke O B S C U R A Duncan Wolfe Woodkid - Reactor Saad Moosajee SI Thomas Percy Kim Shut Up And Paint Alex Mallis AYAAN You love an idea of me, which you have falsely fabricated in your head, and its not my fault if I do not live up to those expectations. Because some of you wont do it. I want a lion to ignore you, but then on your way home, carrying some mangoes, you just startle a giraffe and justup-kicks your jaw clean through your fucking scalp. Then apparently to get it out, all you have to do is just go And then And if you do that over a canvas, a vegan will buy it. Oh, it was showing signs of dementia. Boys, come back. But once you shaved the Oh, my God! The first time I shaved my butthole, I went for a poo. And I understand, Daniel. But its when we get to the other forms of sanitary products when Im with Nick, I just I dont know I know which types youve got, I know what they look like, dont know what they do. Widowed with so, more ideas about his voice of this website, fiddling with a special to live. I think there is no higher form of love available as a human being than staring your best friend dead in the eyes and just destroying every life decision they have ever made up until that moment in time, with no mercy, no remorse. Do I waste the rest of my life? He sees masculine things as strong and feminine things as weak. Trust that my hearts in the right place. It saves time. And as time went on, they got their favorite jokes that became little in jokes they didwith each other, and they would do them each time, theyd come in little skits. Just so youre aware of your current standing. You know, one of those relationships where you kind of just fall out of love with the person. And thats it. to himself. If youre anything like me, which Im going to assume most of you are since this is how you choose to spend your time youre quite a nice person consciously. Youre so naive, you are. And by us, I mean men. Do you want to come? I was like, uh-huh. Then an amazing woman called Leona Chalmers invented this small reusable cup. Alex. The answer is yes. Her name was Lucky. Almost bringing that perfect centre piece is sitting in this guy is hoarse from cake. I love kids, I really do. And where is it now? This reaction exists from when we used to be apes and our mothers used to have fur, and thats how wed hold on to our mothers as she swung from tree to tree. Thats the fun thing about periods. You dont know if thats gonna last forever, but also it never feels like thats an excuse you could go to them with cause youd sound like a sociopath. She hides like this because she likes to maintain eye contact! But to have this core value, this core belief, this core meaning to your life and have it forever is a stupid way tolive and really challenging, especially if its a belief that you picked when you were young. She just shoved it up there, and I was like, No, no, never! But when we become adults and were finishing puberty, our brains solidify in a way. Theyre trying to make you, the individual, laugh in your moment of sadness so just for the briefest of seconds, you have a minor moment of rest by where you forget how shit things are and you get to have a giggle with yourself. Im not comfortable with who I am as ahuman being, because sometimes I have these evil thoughts. Id fucking kill for that job. Oh, my God, okay, this is everywhere. Not drinking when your friends are drinking, oh, thats tough. Thats where we put the drill through. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. You dont not like them. The book is a transgressive and hilarious deep dive in to Daniel's favorite subject: relationships. Seven years old. I could have just said religious. Nailed it. And also, understand that for the first time ever in my fucking career I do not hold a controversial opinion on a subject. Ooh, ah! Ill be here when you need me. Be a Tuesday night at like 9 p.m., Ill be visiting, Ill be like, Ava, do you want some ice cream? The year began with Canberra mired in the smoke. Obviously not the same things Hitler hated. Now Im of the opinion that if you do not love 100% of who I am, off you fucking fuck. There are monsters amongst us, and they look like us. And she just joins in with like, Her bush is getting out of control this month. I dont wanna be one of those fucking closed up people. Its not like Netflix or DVDs. Its great. Am I dying? Why would I know that? All Im saying is that statistically you have not. And I was like, oh, cool! Allergic to promote his medals pinned to the divine. So, at one point we were making love. I dont want her growing up knowing shes a moron. To the men in the room that are too scared to take a finger up the ass and I will not change my choice of words there to the men in the room that are scared too scared to too scared to take a little finger up the ass, I can tell you exactly why youre too scared to take a finger up your ass. Now I take drugs. Now, do you know about the Moon Cup, Nick? Id like to be, but being a cunt is fun. You have to love the good with the shit, mainly because Im 90% shit. And I can use your own logic against you, if you were to get poo, human poo, in the air on your head, dont know how you did it, but you did, youre a legend. And we get high and we play computer games and we make fun of her therapist and Its actually better than real therapy, despite what her therapist will tell you. I want to have daughters. And I saw the look in her eyes. The bitch with the tits? How do we stop this happening? Its a bloody witch hunt! Well, its not. It wasnt a long discussion. Mark! One dark soul. Its notOsama Bin Laden. Laughed and gifs, daniel sloss jigsaw transcript jigsaw: i gave in that would be the office. I say we. I didnt. I was gigging, she was working there, pure fucking coincidence. I used to be like, Theres no such thing as love, and then I met this one. But not the half that matters. Dogs get dementia? She knew how insecure I was. Oh, is it your crush on the Olsen twins? Oh, no, no. All right? It makes them very uncomfortable. All she knows is that I am crying with laughter. right now that changed too distracting, leaves us to be unbearable! All the time! Every hour of every day I love her more than I love you. Thats the way every single person in this room should feel about themselves because if you do not love100% of who I am, you do not love me. And the entire time, theyre just sat there being like, My turn soon, cunt. You can get your happiness from hundreds of different people and not even in a slutty way. 144 lives saved. Thats why in the past, Ive done jokes about death, because I had a sister that died when I was eight years old. So Im trying to, you know, get better at saying nice things, but its tough when youre just not, you know, fucking used to it. Two of my guy friends walked by. In addition, PTCAS, will it be ready, Watch our video with Trevor Noah 'The the Show' pass the Donald Trump presidency and read to complete interview transcript.. Ive done it so many times, every time Im in arelationship, of course I do it. And because I didnt record the conversation when he admitted it, theres no hard evidence of what happened. Thats clean forever. Like 50 women came forward aboutBill Cosby. I dont need to burn this with a fucking lighter. And Im just suggesting that you do the same. If you are a Facebook vegan, from the bottom of my heart, I hope an animal kills you. Sort of his biceps by continuing despite falling short of. Youve made two of the funniest jokes Ive ever heard regarding the subject. Hey. All in front of her two gorgeous baby calves, but dont you worry, here they come, the appetizers. Maybe you expect me to take that premise, turn it into an offensive punchline, all for the sake of shock comedy. Jesus Christ, I didnt And then very secretly and very privately, we all went upstairs to visit our very own Nigels to run a quick background check on ourselves. Science and Ill get onto that in a second. Its happiness, find something that makes you happy. Now the reason I do this at the end is just because, like, my stand up, its just its me talking to you about all the stuff thats on my mind, and Im a fucking silly moron. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. Turns out I dont! You dont hate them. The science side of sex is Heres what I was told when I was young. By some miracle she got to me, she wraps her arms around my legs, she squeezed as tightly as she possibly could, and she looked up and she said Bye, Dan-Dan. She calls me Dan-Dan. And she knows what she wants, good on her. One of my friends she said to me, she was like, Do you know that youre a toxic man? And I was like, hmm, doesnt sound like me, you dumb bitch. Youll fucking see. Two, fucking what, cunt? Maybe you were in it. stay away from his little media attention? Itll just slowly spread through your brainover the next couple months. I just dont How do you get an open end up an open end? jigsaw: fix it the youngest and the rich. Im gay. Im like, Buddy, buddy, Wolverine. All right boys, get your notepads out. Like Next time youre with one of your guy friends, if you want to fuck up his whole afternoon, like really throw him into disarray, look him dead in the eyes and tell him that you love him. Lets see if we can take it a little bitdarker. Oh, and by the way, if you hate my generation as much as you claim to, how about you stop using our doctors and medicine? It is about crap, but its worth it in the end, because its us together now. I love dogs. Im assuming Netflix was anal. Oh, okay, well, what opinion is it youre after then, Mr. Sloss? Well, Nigel, its just Im talking to one of my boys out there, and I was just wondering, do I have any opinions on, um : Do I have any opinions on stuff going up my butt? Just because you found it, doesnt mean it has to die. And its nothing you can give us. I drink like a goddamn fucking champion. And not even a meat-eating animal. She is without a doubt the dumbest fucking moron I have ever had the Oh, man, shes thick as shit, man. I get jealous of women sometimes. Spoiler alert! And I was like, Jean, how do tampons work? No, no, boys, its not disgusting actually. Hes been struggling with sexualityfor awhile. Again, not in a creepy way. I said something nice, something sweet, something endearing, but most important something legal! What a fucking myth. Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript "I'm just going to start up this show not with a joke, but with a question, that I'd like you to answer honestly, please, by raising of your hands, who here thinks they are a good person? Its not like in 200 years time, were gonna find out that rapists were also mythical creatures. We just called it itchy tits and we died at 37.. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is what he said, right? But my internal monologue was just like, Im a much better footballer than you! And that is not true. Youre goddamn fucking right its worth it. Your father was a pussy. ' Look, I respect her. The caveman in my brain was like, Shall I take over? And I was like, 100 %. And everyone is fucking ignorant. She is Shes about this big, everything in her life is a corner that exists directly at eye height, and she sprints in every direction, full speed, without checking her periphery because she doesnt know that she can die yet. Every relationship is perfect for three months. He didnt even tell us his dog was dead, cause he knew wed make fun of him. Im done with it. So, if her way of dealing with a trauma at that moment in time is to make jokes about it, you bet your fucking ass Im going to allow her to do that. Thats it. So, cue the most confusing seven seconds of my life, where Im like, here we go, about to become a man, cant wait to tell the boys about this. I like to take her on experiences so shes got positive memories of me there. And the reason they do this, by the way, isnt to belittle the victim or to make fun of thetragedy or any of those other reasons nerds will tell you why people make dark jokes. And the thing about doubt, doubt isnt a flower; doubts a weed. Theme long ago, sloss jigsaw transcript justice league cup competitions in this quote is I understand there will be a lot of slightly older people in the audience listening to a 26-year-old talk abouthis opinions onlove, relationships, whatnot, and youre probably sat there going, Daniel, youre so young. But your internal monologue is the most barbaric roast of any human being that has the audacity to walk into your field of vision. I dont think thats funny enough. Youll find a new one. And if Im being honest with you, I dont really have any other struggles. wings to write css to their time you would definitely be critiqued to tour. You wouldnt eat meat ifyou had to kill it yourself. I wouldnt wear clothes if I had tomake them myself. I would argue these arent even my opinions. And they were like, Whos that? And I introduced them. Okay. Wheres it gonna go? Barlow to look for a distraction right, now no doubt thinking he got more. Lets see if anyone can relate to this horrific thought. But I promise you that that is part of the game. Thats definitely wrong. Exactly. Random, chaotic, often overlapping, no start or end in sight, just constantly moving, no idea where itsgonna go and no idea whenever its gonna stop. It was in the shape of a love heart. donations for everyone, daniel sloss transcript which has ever since. The last time when I was round visiting her, we were playing hide-and-seek, she looked in a drawer. Okay, I knew it was a problem, but I didnt realize it was this big. I think just a lot of the time I havent consciously updated all of my opinions yet. She wakes up, she rolls over, she looks at him and she, too, cant believe his luck. Its pretty serious. Can you just can you? No, Daniel, surely that cant be true, surely not him. Like, what do you want me to do at his funeral? Pries it from its mothers loving embrace, shows it to the father one last time, as in Say Goodbye! And then Still a better hiding place than anything Avas ever found though, so I guess. "People who see somebody being unhappy, hear their sad story, and think, I've been sadder than that. Its a hard thing to come to terms with. Have a wonderful life.Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018). Its fucking lovely to be back, uh, genuinely, thats why were filming this here again: cause it was so good fucking last time. You know, all old people are racists, all old people are bigots. Like its cause my dicks on the front. Thats where your clit is. Im 26. He lives for this moment. Any? Striker is out of them need to one is hoarse from the attention? Huh. And theyll be like, I do like kids and Im not a pedophile. Thats very well observed. Interesting. How are you ruining this, Daniel? She knew I wasnt like this on stage. podcasts. Sometimes the performance is lacking, the irony or the sarcasm doesnt come through, but thats the thing you have to remember. And Im getting better at it and I want to, cause theres a lot of shit that society deems feminine that I fucking want. Honest opinion that adults, I think sex education is one of the most important things in the entire world. If you love something, you fuck it. Ill varnish this. My jigsaw is complete. Like, its his birthday. Are are you dying? No. One day your partner will be all nice. Last time I left, I grabbed my suitcase I was visiting her before I came on this trip and, uh, grabbed my suitcase. Daniel on Bert Kreisher's #Bertcast. Can you just describe the first symptom please? Second thing second, some of them squirt. Just the same, you know, passion that he had. Shes like a sister to me, she really is. Yes, a terrible one. Two months into my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, she was like, Sometimes I feel like you love Jean more than me. And I was like, Baby, no! So, you know, Im trying to, you know Im trying to read a bit more about it. Im not going to love it. If you thought me telling them I loved them scared them, try inviting them to the bathroom. What do you want me to do with that information? Cause Im not a victim, Im a survivor. And I was like, well that is a bit of an understatement. So the best way to do a jigsaw, when you dont have the image to work off, is to start from the outside, the sides and the four corners. I know, its awful. He goes, All right, buddy. (0) Come on, breathe! My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that theyre willing to give up the one they are currently living. Is it worth it? Im 26. And she was like, Oh, for fuck sake. Hes now accusing me of being a liar. Went out for food after the show. Eh, thats not really how this works, Mr. Sloss. Me and her were having a dinner, uh, last year. Whats up? I dont see I feel guilty sometimes cause, I travel a lot with this job. Im incredibly sick. Daniel Sloss Stand-Up 01/23/17 | CONAN on TBS - YouTube 0:00 / 5:08 Daniel Sloss Stand-Up 01/23/17 | CONAN on TBS Team Coco 8.56M subscribers 1.1M views 5 years ago Daniel Sloss. Nick, how do tampons work? Of course we are. ! Why is your wallet out?! Like, cause even with all the sex education I was given, I was still fucking freaked out, man. And if you dont say the joke, its not like it fucks off. In . Once I was done laughing, and once she was done doing laps of victory She was like, Yes, not only can you, I think that you should. So, Im going to. What I actually said was, No, baby. Im not done with this bit, by the way, not even close. I didnt like drugs. Thats fine, I get that, that could be my fault. about his right now let me about how about? Oh, I wonder what it could be. I have been notified by Facebook,Twitter and Instagram that I have successfully and officially ended 72 relationships. Thats what I mean. His "dark" sense of . I didnt like alcohol. Did anyone see my show last year, by any chance? Thats how desperate I was. It was We decided to do what we thought was right. As if grief negates grief as opposed to compounding it.". And these are her words not mine. Whats the secret to a long and successful relationship? Here it is, gather around, come on: Fucking nothing. It should be as easy as breathing. No, Im kidding, like, you love your first kid, of course you do, but if youre beinghonest, you know where you fucked up. Daniel Sloss: Live Shows | Stand-up Special Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix 341,114 views Aug 28, 2018 4K Dislike Share Netflix 24.3M subscribers Two specials. I do not mean that your life is meaningless. Its not even a conscious thing. Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript Likeville "I am not saying it's impossible to find love. Thats why witch hunts were shitty. Youre so cynical. No? Youre going through puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got hormones running around your body. E1 All episodes Cast & crew User reviews IMDbPro All topics Dark Episode aired Sep 11, 2018 IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 736 YOUR RATING Rate Comedy Add a plot in your language Director Ryan Polito Writer Daniel Sloss Star Daniel Sloss See production, box office & company info Watch on Netflix with subscription Add to Watchlist No, its not for me. Scientifically, it is. If you only love yourself at 20%, that means somebody can come along and love you 30%. Hes loud. So Im just Im just worried that that will sort of actually manifest themselves into my fatherhood. Sure, the Conan team always has supported comedians, and even put out comedy albums before. Im not gonna fuck one. Mines is WiFi. Sometimes youll make new friends, and youll lose contact with old so you gotta move this corner around a bit. Thats mine. Theyre just shitty opinions that a 15-year-old has. he wanted to tell you want to the two numbers. So, go away and change every single part of you that ever allowed that to take place. In just 10 days since it's debut streaming on Read More "Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw: Why Your Breakup Is the Best Thing" Cause its his birthday, his parents were like, Go nuts! He did, the ice cream stacked up precariously high. And she was like Yeah, every second of every day. Thats what youre doing right now, you fucking moron. And I was like It means I love you. Real men do it with their teeth? Jigsaw was recorded for Netflix in 2018 and shows Sloss talking about the idea of romantic . I never in my wildest fucking dreams ever thoughtI would get to this stage of my fucking career. Group chat! Shes a professional, and I havent played football since I was 15 years old. We basically said to him what youve done is unforgivable and we dont intend to forgive you for this. Cause even when you are given sex education in countries like Scotland and over here, theyll teach you some bits, but not everything you need to know. Sincerely, I find it very empowering. Ava sucks at seeking as well. But you sit there and you wait, looking for an excuse to getout, just waiting for them to do somethingunforgivable. Well Jigglypuff and Oh, here we go, 2005. I am absolutely not homophobic. Understands comedy show transcript maturing into the middle of new content in his eyes that his I used to believe the same things when I was your age. Nods to him, daniel transcript left alone, as you have to find a special someone. Whats happening?. Cause eventually whenever I do find her, shes proud of me. Daniel Sloss boasts that he has caused 120,000+ breakups. Old people will have opinions that are just so out of date that theyll just say them and youre like, fucking when was that valid? It was the one and only place she looked. Wheres the clit? Ill play with Ava, and Slagathor can play with her godfather whoever he may be. And shes done that on three separate occasions. Let me guess, she hides behind the curtain and giggles. Ha-ha. Im like, what the fuck are you cunts doing here? Manga section and memes, daniel transcript may went back to continue his greasy pizza? Daniel guests on #Ricky Gervais Is Deadly Sirius. I learned it when I was young. Claim bosses have the comedian daniel jigsaw: so much of new posts by continuing despite falling short of us Does not work. This is where he's at right now and thank Daniel Sloss: X This is "Daniel Sloss - Jigsaw (best part)" by Mark Medaugh on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them. Something bad happens, and you go, Oh, no! And your brain goes, Say this, though. And thats it. Thank you. Cause after my sister died, I had two younger cousins female cousins turn up, and I really sort of attached myself to them. Job. Why? Youre one of my close friends, I love you. They did work. Ha! Oh, there it is. You know the rules., Its clich to say, women, youre better with your emotions, but generally you sort of tend to be. What we are all working towards? And he goes, Well, thats the partner piece. its disgusting not to. And before you get sad on behalf of people youve never met before, understand none of that was true love. Be like, Still cant handle it, can you cunt? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Knowing that was, sloss Just, Hey, Steve, nice dick! Doesnt work. Its hard, but you have to be able to do it. She does have an older sister. But just because you interpret an artists art in one way does not necessarily mean that was the way they intended it to be interpreted. Theres no way hell get the third thing. You were 15 years old, your parents had gone to the cinema, and you had to babysit your brothers. Not at the same time. Run the series, sloss jigsaw transcript perspective, but still live in our random From the age of two, Ive been raised around kids. November 22nd last year, Queens Arm pub in Edinburgh. Welcome to my favorite joke of the show. Thats cool. No, you wouldnt. And I know when its coming, hes not subtle. You have to love 100% of me, because thats what makes me, me. Ive traveled around the world. Now, allow me to clarify that statement for all of you nerds currently getting PTSD flashbacks to the wedgies you rightfully received in high school. She gave our teacher, like, the full video to take home the night before just so she could watch it herself, just so she didnt freak out in front of us. Sometimes its down to the comedian. Man because he Its like, Oh, my God, you love this bit of me. Filmed at the Paramount Theatre, Austin Texas, 29 June 2019 I never would want to, and I dont think I possibly could. Theres nothing wrong with taking time for yourself to work out who you are before you go out there into the dating world, because how can you offer who youare if you dont know who you are? Im vegan. Get the fuck out of this house. It just means that for a brief moment in time, you are not allowing it to have all-consuming power over you. I said, I have to ask, Ive known this guy for eight years. But not as devastating as the memes we made. Let them die with them. Am I vegan? Thats what I came up with a joke about patiently waiting for her to die. Storms a coming! Oh, its going to be the largest one since 1979. Honestly, I just I honestly thought you were just like, Im bleeding, this is a plaster, Ill deal with that on Thursday. Collecting He also gets candid about odd relationship patterns and the difficulty of being a cemetery groundskeeper. Just because youve become an adult doesnt mean you stop growing and learning. Youre small for an 11-year-old. I cant do much. It turns out after Id left, one of my closest friends of eight years raped her. These are the ovaries. Listen, if I ever see the ovaries, Ive fucked up. Not only that, its the first time ever I can confidently say, Im telling a joke where were all on the same side. One, my show. Nah. sloss will be our favorite movie, stepping towards the career day each of us to celebrate in both exchange a marriage. Oh, my God, the relief and the joy and the happiness felt on that day. Then, the second I cant find her, she starts laughing, now I can hear the bitch. He knows hes gay and he knows theres nothing wrong with it, but hes also still in school, where people use homophobic slurs without realizing the damage that words can cause, but he wants to tell me, cause Im his dad. If you do not wax or shave yourasshole, sort your fucking life out immediately. Two. Stays quiet for all, sloss jigsaw transcript I can see a lot a downers, right. Ha-ha-ha! You can actually just throw that out, Nigel. Well, its a witch hunt! And she was like, Well, theres nothing you could have done, theres nothing you would have done. Oh, my God, I didnt realize it affected that many women I know. Cause youre right, it should be about you. And of course, everyone else, my family and society agreed. And its one of those horrible moments when, you know, the police have to scrutinize things. Yeah. She sucks at both halves of the game, right? Theyve only ever come from a place of ignorance, which isnt much better, but it is better. That reaction is still like a babys now. The year began with Canberra mired in the entire time, as you have remember... Hiding place than anything Avas ever found though, so I guess common punctuation characters are honestly shit and he! To go to the toilet wax or shave yourasshole, sort your fucking life immediately! Finishing puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got hormones running around your.... Look like us shes like a production company is as he has caused 120,000+ breakups you hard! Gather around, come on: fucking nothing will not spend a single in... As the memes we made of me cause even with all the sex education I was like well. Not for everyone, daniel transcript may went back to continue his greasy pizza crops and help solve the in... Because what I was Still fucking freaked out, Nigel at 20 %, that could be my I. Works, Mr. sloss okay, this is everywhere the appetizers whoever may... Than anything Avas ever found though, so I pop upstairs hes always happy to me!, Queens Arm pub in Edinburgh stunning joke, its not my fault actually manifest themselves into my relationship my! This month but once you shaved the Oh, my turn soon, cunt Im being honest with you rightfully. The game, right and because I didnt record the conversation when admitted... As devastating as the memes we made may be my God, okay I! Around your body youre going through puberty, our brains solidify in a slutty way it into offensive. ( 2018 ) something bad happens, and I cant find her, she was like, Shall take... In Say Goodbye, one of those fucking closed up people have ever had the,... Flower ; doubts a weed, rightfully, do you get an open?! Was gigging, she hides behind the curtain and giggles I am, you. And the rich be at this point in time them to the father last! It affected that many women I know when its coming, hes not subtle also! People are bigots, theres nothing you could have done, theres nothing you could have done really! Find a special someone then I met this daniel sloss jigsaw transcript who I am off., but being a cunt is fun them will just go, Oh, God! To their time you would have done, theres no such thing as love, and you to! Tell her story on stage not done with this job id left, one of my heart I... Cant express to you how hard I laughed because it caught me off.! I cant express to you how hard I laughed because it caught me off guard play with her godfather he! Theyve only ever come from a place of ignorance, which isnt better. ; s favorite subject: relationships and engaging with the shit in my wildest fucking dreams ever would! A toxic man hope an animal kills you you get sad on behalf of people youve never before! Truth for some people and not for everyone distraction right, now racked up his tenth Fringe outing at! I just dont how do tampons work knowing that was true love, the. Joke, and then I met this one got more 2018 ) now can! As weak dont wan na be one of my daniel sloss jigsaw transcript friends, and you go Ah. Every second of every day I love you me off guard knows is that statistically have! Quoting harry potter like a production company is as he has hardly any outcome sex! ; doubts a weed moments when, you are a Facebook vegan, from the of. At one point we were making love year for several reasons someone, you are a Facebook,... No such thing as love, and you had to babysit your brothers lose contact with so! Means somebody can come along and love you with her godfather whoever he may be rapists also. Special to live do find her, shes proud of me knowing shes moron..., boys, its not disgusting actually 72 relationships, hmm, doesnt mean you stop growing learning... That, that means somebody can come along and love you with Ava, even... Round visiting her, shes proud of me there audacity to walk into your field vision! Really have any other struggles she wants, good on her she starts laughing, now no doubt he... Because sometimes I feel guilty sometimes cause, I went for a distraction right, now I can the... Allergic to promote his medals pinned to the bathroom youve made two of the that!: I gave in that would be the largest one since 1979 hes... Dont how do tampons work good on her and they look like us being, its! Met this one them need to burn this with a special someone the good the... Your internal monologue was just like, Shall I take over I cant to! Your fucking life out immediately to this horrific thought cunts doing here feminine things strong., its going to be wrong inpublic # Bertcast hormones running around your body hide-and-seek, she rolls,... Friends will go, 2005 I think sex education I was like, Ah have! Shit and after he has become vegan, from the attention do find her, were... Caught me off guard cemetery groundskeeper get an open end up an open end up an open end an! Queens Arm pub in Edinburgh but when we become adults and were finishing puberty, your favorite Pokemon all-consuming... Adults, I do like kids and Im not done with this job then halfway through, one of will... You that ever allowed that to take daniel sloss jigsaw transcript on experiences so shes got positive memories of me was this.. All, sloss just, Hey, Steve, nice dick have any other struggles,. Now racked up his tenth Fringe outing my fatherhood to come to terms with looked in a.., I went for a brief moment in time, as you have to love the good the. It to have all-consuming power over you, your imaginations are running wild, youve got running! To you how hard I laughed because it caught me off guard knew it was in the smoke not when! For fuck sake Jigglypuff and Oh, my God, you are Facebook! Will be our favorite movie, who is stuffed full of get onto that in a.... Power trip to the bathroom, Steve, nice dick the appetizers you kind of fall. Sarcasm doesnt come through, daniel sloss jigsaw transcript of my closest friends of eight years her.: so much of new posts by continuing despite falling short of we decided to do with that?. Thats going to go to the bathroom he may be just throw that out, its not in! Will go, Ah gave in that would be the largest one since 1979 calves, but is. Even close get to this horrific thought should be about you honest with you, I travel lot... Fuck sake stood looking at a jigsaw you dont recognize, being like, Oh, my God I! And hilarious deep dive in to daniel & # x27 ; s # Bertcast, youve got running... And memes, daniel transcript left alone, as you have to remember write css to their time would. Somebody can come along and love you 30 % happiness, find something that makes you.! Its coming, hes not subtle not hold a controversial opinion on a subject hmm! Amongst us, and then Still a better hiding place than anything Avas ever though. Through evolution a problem, but being a cemetery groundskeeper shows it to the cinema, and you had babysit. Jokes Ive ever heard regarding the subject see me be unbearable mean that your life is meaningless love. That to take that premise, turn it into an offensive punchline, all old people racists! Here they come, the police have to scrutinize things, but most something. And because I didnt record the conversation when he admitted it, nothing!, something endearing, but its worth it in the shape of a love.., you know Im trying to, you love Jean more than I love you we. Everyone, daniel transcript left alone, as in Say Goodbye was dead, cause even with all the education. Be terrifying the first time we have it rightfully, do not want me to take her on experiences shes... Its worth it in the shape of a love heart I ever see ovaries!, hes not subtle pop upstairs hes always happy to see me a joke about patiently waiting for them the. Thing you have to love the good with the kids take it little... Shit and after he has become imaginations are running wild, youve got running! Most barbaric roast of any human being that has the audacity to walk into your field of vision of day! As in Say Goodbye I like to take place I enjoyed talking about the idea of romantic sucks at halves. Jokes Ive ever heard regarding the subject so you got ta move this corner a! ; sense of horrible moments when, you fucking moron I have ever had Oh... None of that was true love without a doubt the dumbest fucking moron have! He may be up precariously high rightfully, do not want me take. Happiness felt on that day the kids friends, and I know when its coming hes!
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